8 October 2013

One Day. The perfect medicine

I'm writing to you from sick-person-central so just a quick one today. I started feeling pretty whoozy over the weekend and it wasn't until yesterday when I saw the doctor that he confirmed I have tonsillitis and gastro. What a delightful combination. Not.

I really hate being sick. There's nothing worse than lying around feeling sorry for yourself. I was in bed last night trying to while away the hours. I had no energy for tv and was out of library books; so I flicked through my bookshelf to choose something to read for the second, tenth or millionth time.

This is what I chose.

I hope you've read this book, but if you haven't then you must go out and get it. Within the first page you'll be in fits of giggles. It's hilarious.

Ellen is my perfect dose of medicine, not unlike a spoonful of sugar, so I thought I'd share with you my favourite chapter to spread the love.

How to be a Supermodel

Since I am a covergirl I thought if any of you are interested in learning a little bit about modelling I could offer you some tips. I've sashayed down plenty of catwalks in my day - well, one. But I know what it takes to make an impression. So here are some suggestions, as long as you're willing to be fierce.

One: The Look
Always look like you're angry at the universe for making you too pretty.

Two: The Walk
Trot. Aggressively, like you're a horse that's trying to avoid puddles.

Three: The Squint
Squint like someone is bouncing sunlight off their watch and directly into your eyes.

Four: The Pout
Get those lips out there. Purse your lips like you're trying to sip out of a straw that someone keeps moving away from you.

Five: The Pose
Be mysterious. Always pose with one hand in your pocket as if to say "I'm so mysterious, this hand in my pocket could be a hook hand. You don't know."

Six: The Breeze
Carry a giant oscillating fan with you at all times. No exceptions.

Now put it all together. Trot! Squint! Get the straw! Who's a pretty girl? You are. Keep trotting. 

Thanks for cheering me up Ellen. Everyone go buy the book, it's hysterical and as a bonus you'll get a great ab workout from all the giggling.

Photo by Krissie