27 September 2014

One Day. The Dating Game

It's been a big couple of months.... I moved to London and... I joined Tinder. Let's call it a project all in the name of blogging research because otherwise I would never admit to using a dating app. Now that I'm out of my home town of approx. 700,000 people where I felt I would likely know 1 in 10 guys in my age bracket, I figured it was the perfect opportunity to give it a go here in London where I don't know a soul. It really is a clean slate.

It's been an interesting experience so far, there have been a few dates, a whole lot of conversations [some good and some wacky] and I will say that several things have made me laugh out loud - sorry boys. Going through the faces as I swipe left and right I noticed several common themes that run throughout these London fellows' profiles. Have a chuckle as I spill the beans below...

1. The family photo. Ahh boys you think you're so clever putting up photos with your mum and grandma don't you? I bet you believe us girls are just going to think "aw what a lovely guy, he loves his family". Perhaps some of you truly do but with most of you I think it's just a sneaky ploy to lure us in!

2. Ok so you know how they always say that girls have a soft spot for guys with babies...? It probably doesn't work so much in this instance because if you have a photo with a baby I'm going to assume it's your child. I think guys have figured out that the cute kid doesn't work in this scenario so they've replaced babies with..... you guessed it; cute dogs. "Hmmm you're kind of ugly.... but what a cute dog, oh he's so gorgeous I'll have to swipe right just because I want to cuddle the puppy." Be warned,  it's a trap - I bet it's not even your dog!

3. Now this one possibly makes me chuckle the most. What is it with you guys and posting photos of yourself with gorgeous girls? Do you think we like the competition? Do you want us to think that you can pull beautiful girls? Are you trying to make yourself look good? I'm just not sure I get it. Whisper is that back home on Tinder a certain fellow, who shall remain unnamed, has two photos with me on his profile. Might I point out that these two photos are probably the only two photos we've ever had taken together. I don't know whether to feel used or flattered!

4. A guy's shirtless photo is the equivalent of a girl's bikini photo; chauvinistic but necessary. After all, we want to know what your body looks like, not just your face. But if you've got all five photos on the beach working on your tan then you're just showing off - cap it at one.

5. Group shots are irritating. Do I need to expand on this, I'm sure all girls agree. It's become a principle for me now; if I can't tell which one you are, I'm not going to bother. Three separate photos of groups of guys? Really? This isn't Where's Wally, I don't want to sit there for 10 minutes trying to match faces. Too hard basket.

6. Well done to those of you who try filling your bio with witty one liners. Some are actually very funny.... and some not so much. But full points for trying.

7. And finally guys - please put your height. People might think I'm shallow for saying this but it really does matter. No girl wants to date a guy who is shorter than them, sorry small fellows but it's just a matter of masculine - girls want to look up, not down. For those of you on the shorter side I'm sure there's someone out there for you who is pint-size as well but it's better that you're up front, we don't like surprises.

Photo via Pinterest.