31 August 2012

[Don't] Eat Me. Barchino Miami

                                          My serve.

                                          My friend's serve.

I was in two minds as to whether to write this post but I realised, like all good impartial writers, not everything I post can be a charming, positive story. So here goes... my first [very] critical food review.

I was out for dinner with my girlfriends last week. We had intended to visit Nobby’s Arc, a new pizzeria in the aforementioned suburb, but due to popular demand and their no bookings policy (what is with this trend!?) we were unable to get inside the door, thus a backup plan ensued. After a few minutes of debate we found ourselves sitting in Barchino a popular cafe amongst Nobby’s locals (WARNING: If you fall into this category, then perhaps you should stop reading now).

We were seated by a cheerful waiter and after ordering our drinks (I wanted Diet Coke, but alas there was only Pepsi – first bad mark) we got to chatting, mind you it was at a significantly higher decibel than usual due to the obnoxious, drunken table next to us.

After the table next door managed smashed three glasses the waiter bustled over from dustpan-ing the shattered remnants to take our food order and it all went downhill from there.

Three of us had ordered the gnocchi with roasted vegetables and pesto cream sauce. Two came out looking satisfactorily creamy, whilst mine was placed in front of me looking like it was sitting in a puddle of grass-flavoured oil. There was absolutely nothing on that plate that could be deemed creamy, expect maybe the stodgy, overcooked gnocchi. In fact, mine looked like it had been cooked in a completely different kitchen (see pictures above).

I took a wary bite. After ‘eating with my eyes’ I was no longer very hungry, and it was as bad as I suspected, in fact, worse. All I could taste was oil. Everything on the plate tasted liked it had been soaked in the stuff for weeks. There was no freshness, no crunch of the vegies, it was a turgid, greasy, inedible mess. Now don’t go thinking I’m just extremely picky - I offered a taste to my friend and she agreed, in her words – “oh Krissie, that’s disgusting!” When I told the waiter he offered a replacement (which I declined, no thank you!), so he then took the meal off the bill. Slight redemption there!

Sorry to all the Barchino lovers out there but in this instance I have to give a 0/5. No second chances with me, I won’t be returning.

Photos by Krissie.

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