23 July 2012

One Day. Male Order

I was out shopping with my boyfriend the other week; we just popped into the local mall to do some browsing and pick up a few things. But little did I know that by the time I left the shops I would have an earth-shattering epiphany – men REALLY do hate shopping. Of course, I had an inkling of this before but I’m not sure I ever realised it was so bad.

I had made a plan earlier that morning to go to the shops for a few things: a few clothing necessities (new jacket, shoes, outfit for Saturday night and anything else that might strike my fancy), an engagement present and couple of other bits and bobs. I asked if my boyfriend would like to come and he said yes – big mistake. Little did he know he had unwittingly agreed to join me, on what would turn out to be, an unbearable expedition (for him, I rather enjoyed myself). Now, for you ladies reading this I would like to draw attention to the fact that we were at the shops for 2.5hours, which by my standards is a rather speedy trip! But it seems for my male counterpart, we may as well have shopped all day.

We all know the two sexes are very different: appearance, anatomy, sporting prowess, place of origin (Mars or Venus) but perhaps the most prominent difference is in their shopping behaviour. Since this fateful trip to the mall I have found myself a casual observer of males at department stores, that is when I can find one. Here are some of the things I have noticed:

-          If alone, they dash around as though at any moment an authority will pop up from behind a rack and scold them for participating in this extra-curricular activity. If they find something they like, they never try it on, hurry for the counter and make an abrupt exit. (There is of course one perk to this, I have been known on many occasions to use the male change rooms because there is no line. Thanks boys!)
-          If shopping with a girlfriend, they tag along like a lost puppy, tapping away on their phones and looking very uncomfortable at the mention of any ‘browsing’.
-          If in a group of guys (this is a rare spotting), they seem to use the shopping centre as a ‘hang out’ rather than for purchase purposes. I can’t understand this myself, if you hate shopping so much why make it your regular haunt?

I suppose you could say I’m a little like David Attenborough for men; observing the species in their (un)natural habitat. It is a rather interesting topic; I can just see it made into a documentary. There would have to be a prime focus on the ‘male seat’ we all know and love – the chair or bench tucked in a corner for the guys, where sales women fuss over them whilst girlfriends are in the change room. To me, they always look as though they would rather be sitting on a porcupine. Is it really that painful!?

A word to the wise ladies, save your ‘browsing’ for shopping trips with your girlfriends or risk some stormy looks.